Choose.

Wenjie: "have u always wonder life is like a long journey of travelling on roads with many junctions.. once u make ur decision and turn left.. there is no turning back.. it is like u can't and won't noe what happens if u turn right ...... it's like the movie Sliding Doors.. then i feel like kind of regret... i do wanna see wat happens if i turn right instead? but then i will neber noe?"

I: "...... cant have your cake and eat it, coz just not possible, ....... it's ok to fantasize, but logically speaking, you CANNOT know what both roads will turn out one coz you can only choose one fork"

Wenjie: "yeah.. but then one can't help keep having this nagging feeling that wat if i had made another decision instead? esp at those major junctions in ur life"

Another one of those midnight soul-searching, except it was more toe-dipping for me, too damn zonked out from sleep deprivation to dive into it. Sorry, kor :-)

But now, I'm awake. I'm awake :-)

It is one thing to be tempted, another thing to fall. - Shakespeare

We spend so much of our lives choosing; choice is essential to life and living. Even if we are hard-wired to gravitate towards certain behaviour, e.g. man gawks at woman with big tits, woman drawn to big and strong man (read: man can provide for family), most of us have the capacity to choose and decide our final course of action.

There are the big decisions, which may takes years, days or just seconds (e.g. life and death situations): drop the bear like hot bricks or "allow" him to see other women; complete my MA or ask for "compassionate leave" or just drop out; grovel because I hurt my friend's feelings or demand he apologise for being an asshole; continue complaining about work or be grateful that I'm gainfully employed and just wait for the bitchy ones to grow old and ugly *evil smirk*; wallow in negativity or be at peace with myself; etc.

And then there are the small, but nonetheless, consequential decisions: have dinner with SF or go home; what to have for dinner; show my naughty side (and SF's!!!) to fish no. 2 or ignore his SMS; Godiva Irish Creme or Creme Brulee; it's past 11am, wake up now or sleep somemore; what to write about choice; do I use "and so on" or "etc"; etc.

I wonder how many people think about or realise the significance of "choosing".

Each Door 1 opened is another Door 2 closed (or perhaps, just unopened), and there is no turning back. Even if we later found ourselves standing before that closed Door 2 again, we have already "missed" that earlier point in time when we had made a choice to open Door 1. In other words, we can choose to open Door 2 LATER, but the circumstances will not be the same as before. Given what we already know or have gone through because we opened Door 1, we might not now want to open Door 2.

Anyway, even if we had opened Door 2 instead -- wouldn't we then wonder what if we had opened Door 1? So, we still find ourselves asking, "What if?". We can't have our cake and eat it too, because it's a metaphysical impossibility. We must be prepared to live with the choices we make, whether consciously so, or otherwise.

Now, say we could turn back time. Who's to say we would have opened Door 2, ceteris paribus, i.e. we return to our earlier state of mind and conditions. We might STILL have made the SAME choice, based on the circumstances then.

"Master of Past and Present!" Raistlin laughed hollowly -- bitter, mocking laughter. "I am Master of nothing! All this power, and I am trapped! Trapped! Following in his footsteps, knowing that every second that passes has passed before! I see people I've never seen, yet I know them! I hear the echo of my own words before I speak them! This face!" His hands pressed against his cheeks. "This face! His face! Not mine! Not mine! Who am I? I am my own executioner!"
[War of the Twins, Legends Vol. 2 - Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman]

What if choice, as we understand it, is nothing but an illusion?

So, is there any point to thinking about the "what ifs"? I think about the "what ifs" all the time. But I also think it's important not to become so obssessd about the "what ifs" that you live your life full of regrets. Make a choice and move on. Who knows, maybe that choice, even if "wrong", would have taught us more about ourselves, then if we had made the "right" choice. Perhaps, there is no such thing as a "better" choice.

Afterthought:
I guess the bear decided he just had to take that other fork, even if it meant no turning back. Because he just had to know, and he won't know unless he tried. And he wasn't the only one who made a choice. I made my choice, too.